Monday, January 26, 2009

Putting Out Fires

makes me happy.



I'm feeling inspired, as of late, to share with you the nuances of my relationship with Kev.

I suppose I think it's important, and hopefully amusing, now that we're posting together, for you all to know it's not always sunshine and lollipops all day, everyday over here.

Nope. Sometimes buttons are pushed and lines are crossed but, I believe, it's the solutions we find and the lessons we learn during the trying times that will make or break us.

Not surprisingly, I remembered this little ditty while grocery shopping together today.

It'd have to be over a year ago , while out and about running some errands with Kev, that I proposed a quick trip to the grocery store.

'No problem.' Kev replied, believing quick to mean, grabbing only a few items.

And here I present the incongruity which often occurs between the things I say and the things Kev hears. As by quick I meant exactly that - fast. I grocery shop every week and I get 'er done in a snap.

Well, Kev was able to hold in his frustration about the number of items I was grabbing , though burner hotter and hotter with every one that was pitched into the basket, until we hit the last aisle, and that's when he erupted...

"I thought we were only picking up a couple of things?!?"

I paused, held my lips together long enough to recognize that retorting with...

"I don't know why you thought that jack a*#, cause that's not what I said! But what does it matter now as we're already done!" wasn't the best solution.

Instead, I smiled, lifted my arms, as in the photo above, and asked, in a calm and concerned voice...

"What would you like me to put back?"

He laughed... a lot, completely understanding his attack made no sense. It's amazing how quickly anger is diffused when it has no one to duel with.

To this day, over a year later, we're both quick to drop the 'What would you like me to put back?' line whenever we want to ease the pangs of anger the other may be feeling.

After all, I'm sure we can all absolutely agree, it's more noble to spray water then lighter fluid on a burning house.

7 comments:

Angela said...

what a lovely post.

Life is Wonderful said...

I was beginning to wonder if you two EVER argued....Isn't arguing healthy in relationships?!!? Or is that just what they tell you so you feel normal???

Red Hott Martini said...

Fabulous post. I am with Life is Wonderful - I wondered if you did ever argue. Your blog has inspired me to use laughter instead of anger. Thanks for that!

Anonymous said...

I love this post...its paints such a simple and easy message that we all should put in place the think before speaking rule. When we say the first thing that comes into our heads it more or less makes the situation 10 times worse so what better way to defuse it by saying something funny ...laughter goes a long way. So would you have put things back if he said yes put this back and that? lol

stacy said...

without hesitation!

Joanna Goddard said...

i love this. this is so great to remember! sometimes i'll fake growl at my boyfriend when we're fighting over dumb stuff and it makes us laugh :)

Anonymous said...

your a good wife you are, because I would fire it at his head shouting you put it back then!! I kid!!