Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Blaming Anne Murray

makes me happy.

The other night while lying in bed, me already in my sleeping position, eyes just beginning to close, Kev still flicking channels, I can't help but take notice that he has paused for a considerable length of time on an Anne Murray biography.

"Why are you watching this?" I snap at him.

I snapped partly because having the tv on in bed isn't necessarily my favourite, so if he's not really paying attention I'd prefer he just turned it off, and partly because I thought, if he is paying attention... well then that was just weird.

For those not in the know, Anne is Canada's 65 year old 'songbird,' whom has certainly sold more then her fair share of records (54 million to date), and is a star in her very own adult contemporary kind of way. Still, her story is not something I would have expected to capture my husband's interest.

"Anne Murray's biography. Someone once told me she swears like a truck driver and is big slut." He informs me (insert my face making 'that's totally random' eyebrows to my pillow here).

I lie there for another couple moments and can feel my emotions still stewing.

But then I realize, my anger has nothing to do with the tv being on or what's on it... I'm mad at Anne Murray!

Why, you ask?

"Have I ever told you my Anne Murray story?" I ask Kev.

"You have an Anne Murray story?"

"Yes I do." I respond and roll over to face him.

"It had to be over 20 years ago. I was probably in Grade 8, so about 12 years old. My dad comes home from work one night and tells us at the dinner table that he's got one extra ticket to the concert him and mom are attending on the weekend with a couple of business associates. The concert is Anne Murray and would one of us girls like to join them?"

"Uh - huh?" Kev returns. His interest tweaked.

"Well I suppose all I really heard was 'concert' and immediately hoped I would be the lucky girl getting to use that extra ticket. To my surprise Kelly graciously stepped aside and charmingly offered the ticket to me. Best big sister ever! I was totally stoked! "

A meek little grin begins to appear on my husband's face.

"So the next night I'm at gymnastics," I continue on "and begin to tell one of the older, way cooler gymnasts about my recent good fortune, 'and then my sister, unselfishly, gave me the ticket!' I conclude. 'That's because your sister didn't want the ticket!' the older, cooler gymnast quickly informs me. 'Who wants to see Ann Murray?' she rhetorically asks right before tumbling a flawlessly executed round off, back hand spring, back hand spring, full twist across the gym, leaving me standing there alone. Mortified with humiliation."

Kevyn is now full on laughing at me, "Ha ha ha! Your sister totally duped you!"

Maybe she did. Maybe my anger should be directed at Kelly for not filling her baby sister in on the fact that it's totally uncool to go see Anne Murray? Blame her for cheerfully handing over that golden ticket which might as well have been a sledge hammer used to destroy any air of coolness my twelve year old ever had.

But I don't.

No, Anne Murray I blame you. You and your smooth, silky, almost masculine voice for lureing me in and knocking me off the cool pedestal!

At which point I conclude our conversation with, "You heard she was a big slut eh? I always thought she was a lesbian. Not that there's anything wrong with that."

And changed the channel to a Seinfeld rerun.


dmaloney said...

haha, i told kev she's a big slut! She used to bang all the Hamilton TigerCats when my cousin was on the team in the 70's....great memory Kev!

justme said...

LOL, the only thing i like about anne murray is the song by Barenaked Ladies about her! That is a great story!

Anonymous said...

so funny - I have an Anne Murray story too. Are you familiar with that song....May Have This Dance for The Rest of My Life (May you be my parter eeeevverrry night). I'm singing as I'm typing. Yah well - that song accidentally got played at my wedding during my FATHER/DAUGHTER dance 15 years ago. Yup all caught on video and not soon forgotten lol - I'm thinking most Canadian girls have an Anne Murray story
Tammy ;)