Thursday, October 20, 2011

Ellen Scissor Hands

makes me happy.


So my mom stuck her head in the door this afternoon to say hello & good-bye, her and my dad were going out for the evening. She also let me know she's been cutting these stuck-together-lumps of fur out of the cat's coat that we haven't been able to brush out. I'm sure she wanted to let me know in case I saw the cat and all of a sudden thought the cat had gone ballistic and started ripping her fur out (as had happened with one of my mother's other cats).


About an hour later Kelly was going up to my parents place and came back as was all, "Shushee's got a something wrong with her!"

And I was all, "No. No. My just cut out those lumps of fur."

And she was all, "Stacy! The cat's got a giant cut on her side."


So I'm thinking, 'Oh, maybe there was a rash under those lumps. Or, maybe the cat got into a little tiff outside.' I mean, in all honesty, Kelly does like to speak in dramatics and put on a bit of a show sometimes.

So I slowly get up and go look at the cat.

"HOLY SHIT! THERE IS A HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE CAT!"

Now Kelly and I are both standing there, hands covering mouths, thinking 'What the f%#*?!?'

"Kelly."

"Yeah?"

"Mom cut the cat's skin off when she was cutting out those lumps."

Barfing motion.

"KEVYN! You've got to take the cat to the vet!"



Then I text my father to let him know what mom has done.

He's all apologetic, sorry for the hassle, and says he'll cover the cost.

I'm all like, "No worries, just never let mom near any living object with scissors in her hand again."

Now don't get me wrong, if anyone or anything I ever cared about was suffering from some aliment that needed any sort of treatment other then needs to be cut out I would point them in mom's direction. She is such a whiz with home remedies and care that I'm surprised didn't choose to become a nurse or doctor when growing up, but... and there's a big BUT...

Have I ever told you she once snipped the end of my childhood dog's tail off while trying to cut burrs out it?

Like I said, if she ever approaches you with scissors in her hand... RUN.

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